chocolates

2011-07-02T17:52:00.002+08:00

okay i seriously don't know why i'm so angry. it's probably because i know i wasn't able to perform last week even when the questions are exact copy of the real thing last year. now i'm probably freaking out but if the questions are from the real thing, it means i'm not ready yet. it means i have not studied enough which is true. i'm angry because i don't get the point trying to copy exact questions without changing a tiny bit of it. you may have your stand but i think we were just jokes in the exam hall when i have the questions tucked in my bookshelf not looked at yet. it really made me feel like an idoit because i worry about the paper which not the least effort has been put in to prepare it. hard work comes from both sides dont you think? not even the least effort was made to simulate similar kind of questions. we should be exposed to the same style of questions not freaking copies of it. going to exam is meaningless already doing things that no effort was spent creating it just pisses me off. the system i'm studying in infuriates me. i think i had already accepted the fact a person's dexterity is determined from a certificate but sometimes when i stop and reflect what i've been doing to achieve it, i feel like i've wasted my life. in what way is it meaningful when you do things which you remember now going to forget probably a few months after your major exam is over? but there's no way around this route. well at least for me. i don't see any other way except to get great results and hopefully then a good job for my good life after that. i abhore the idea that the purpose of studying now is to have a good life after but it's reality. well i guess the key to accepting reality is to like what you're doing which i probably haven't felt it. i haven't went with my passions because practicality rules. i hate practicality in me. and it is the system i'm in that breeds this pragmaitism in me. people that go with the flow don't have a mind of their own and i guess i'm one. go the other way you can be very successful or fail forever. i hate myself for not have the guts to try the unconventional. somehow i feel im not special enough to go against the flow and succeed. so im stuck. stuck in the pool of the norm. go the conventional way. slog your life through work then earn money to get by the day. i don't even have a dream and i think i'm pathetic. my parents think so differently. apparently adults think that it is good enough to just get any freaking course even if you don't like it and get a jb and earn money for your living. that seems to be the main point in life. i really hope it won't become mine but i'm afraid practicality will still win in the end. so i may end up as a stupid law abidding citizen who wont become

2011-06-12T20:42:00.002+08:00

i am going bonkas. i havent known studying can go to such an extent and the worst thing is i havent been very efficient. i can't even churn out the energy to do my GP homework much less think about how to improve it. i really need someone to save me well knowing the only person who can change all this is myself. i've got to do it no matter what- by hook or by crook. somehow when i think positively so that i can convince myself to slack for a while, i do worse. i should really remind myself this: if i don't try to open my brain and study for the entire day, i'm going to die soon. two weeks left, and somehow there are things leftover everyday. getting quite sick of my daily boring life. tomorrow shall be a better day. i'm going to make sure i finish everything on my schedule.

2010-12-18T23:18:00.002+08:00

oh man. i went to take the test for gp tuition today and i think i screwed it up real bad. :/ it horrible when you don't know what to write because you'll be staring at the lines and worrying about how to fill them with words. i didn't even have a single solid point ): gah. then there was christmas carols going on. wait. the singing was out of tune so i guess it can't be called carols. it was buzzing in my ears and i got really frustrated.

i need to come up with plans to save my gp. it's so frustating when you want to express something but can't find an appropriate vocbulary to convey the message. is my language skills that bad? i don't even know if i'm writing proper english these days. save me:/

The main purpose of edcation should be aimed at enabling people to find employment. Do you agree?

killed me.

2010-12-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

The view from sky park was stunning, really. I was so dazzled. marina bay feels so posh and peaceful from up there. you can see buildings that lasted from colonial times, the new structures put in to accomodate the growing needs of tourism and the five stars hotels that belong to multinational companies. Though each building or structure was built separately, they seem to mash together to present to their audience a breathtaking picture. It is no doubt that each shines on their own, like the esplanade, the singapore flyer, but without the others they are not perfect. Was it planned for marina bay to look like that, i wonder. and was it luck that has the fullerton hotel gleaming right smack at the center? some things are just meant to be and not. am i meant to do something great out of myself? or just some small worker who slogs her life at some company? okay... that's out of point.

what struck me at the sky park was that everything has a path to take, decision made at each crossroad matters; there's always a choice but fate paves the way. i know it's kind of cliche but i actually asked myself where do i belong in this shiny, on the surface all glitz and glamour city. Seeing those people in suit and tie, i sort of admire them because they look cool working in the shiny world. i guess it is apt to describe myself as an immature kid on a visit to a castle when i was in marina bay resorts world.

so did this sky park trip make up for me not being on plane today? i don't know. i feel sad still. i reached a crossroad but one had fence already so there's no choice. so, i hope something in the holidays can make me feel refreshed and new before i embark on the path next year.

may it be great:)

2010-12-07T20:22:00.005+08:00

6 Dec 2010

I'm horribly sad now.

I shouldn't be looking so forward to going to melbourne then i wouldn't be so upset right now. everything's wrong both ways. I really really want to go but it's not even a question to raise if i can fly there myself.

everything just went wrong.

why? ):

and i can't accept the fact that the money is just thrown into the deep blue sea which i can't even get a glimpse of. the situation is just so wrong. i really don't know what i'm wishing for right now because wishing to go is just wrong but the idea that im not going to the place i've been so focused on these few months is just so frustrating and sad. horribly sad. it's the first time i ever think about going overseas u know. it's not a big deal to anyone since 'hey come on, you can go there another time you know'. but for me it's really a big deal. i've been so eager about the trip and it was sort of like my motivation to get PW done. this sounds ridiculous. but. it was. I thought this could be something that can make me real happy this year and i'll start next year without any bitterness since i screwed up my studies this year. i want to get on the plane and fly to another continent and forget this place for a while. i wanted to come back having the feeling that the bad part of my life has been over and i'm starting afresh as a new person.

i know i shouldnt be feeling this way but it hurts to have the pretty pictures in my head crushed.
till next time. i'll be there soon.

2010-11-22T22:09:00.004+08:00

i'm sort of feeling lousy for not getting it... hais. It's probably one of the few times I've decided to do something that i like though i had the feeling that i won't get it.

second wake up call then.

Being aimless is one of the problems this year and well... i suppose also disliking school life. screwd. Knowing what needs to be done but not working well to get it. ): ohs or should i say i didnt feel the need to do well for the year. it was only after everything has ended, i began to regret...

I feel like i didn't fulfill my sub-conscious expectation of myself. i guess it's the time to work harder and tell myself 'it's okay. at least this horrible year is over'.

2010-11-09T20:51:00.004+08:00

the bane of my existance is finally gone.

well... first to start off and earliest to finish. and it was real 'lucky' for us to get all the moderaters from moe. i was freaking scared until i was stiff and didn't dare to move my legs once i stood on that particular spot because my wobbly legs might just collapse. i don't know if in the end i have assured the desired grade but it was my best effort at that moment.

the same old thing happening at home everyday until i think i'm sick of it. i really hope that my brother can knock himself out of the lazy world he's living in and start getting serious about work. i know that he's not stupid but he just refuses to focus on studying. well if he's serious about work for an hour, i'm sure he can play for hours. forcing him to do lots of assessment isn't going to help, can't they get it? WAKE UP bro. please... soon...

i feel like im starting on a new page of my life after PW however ridiculous this sounds. my jc1 misery has ended offically. from now on, i'll be focusing on things that i've neglected and start packing my room(first on agenda).
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i want to thank all my friends who have been giving me support all this while, the times i were feeling down, frustrated, and needed someone to rant and talk the worm language. thankyou all very much! i wouldn't have gone through jc1 without giving up, without yur. love ya!

and to my parents: thank you so much too. i don't know how to tell yur how sorry i am for breaking down so badly so many times in this year. every decision made after sec4 was so hard and appeared to be so wrong. quarrelled over so many things like going ocip and stuff. i don't know why i've this sudden outburst but i think i need to work on being a better daughter. everyday was pw, study, hw and when there was time i just close myself in my world, this year. thank you dad for fetching my around west coast for my cca activities. and mum for all the housework you do and nice food you cook :D thank you so much.
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a new journey awaits.

2010-10-28T21:57:00.003+08:00

me first.

i suppose all things work this way.

if someone is taking care of stuff, i can care lesser.

that's the mindset.

so, for everything that involves more than myself, be the one that cares less. what an unethical lesson i've learnt.

selfish i suppose.

On the other hand, the people who care are ..... for punishment. they know that they are taken advantaged of but don't know the right way of retaliating.

Point: i don't know how to be evil as much as i want to be.

screwed. i really screwed up.
i thought it didn't matter
but the self expectation is there
i have to start making choices
but i don't know how
i'm not receptive to things im doing now
and for things i'm interested in
im afraid to take the risk
i'm praying for enlightenment

2010-10-15T22:20:00.002+08:00

I feel sleepy 24 hrs these few days. haiz. want to watch shows but cannot find those free and dont need to download ones.

my nose is getting bad... don't know why a cough became flu.

actually, i don't have much to blog today. bored and don't want to go to sleep. and talking about sleep i slept through the afternoon after lunch. pig's life.

need to do stuff and apparently math homework. don't know how long i need to understand maclaurin when i tuned out for during lectures.

I'm still nowhere here nor there. I don't know what i'm good at and it's so hard to think of which path to take when i don't know what will really hold my interest. and to do something i won't regret.

too much regrets to count.
and i can't afford to make anymore mistakes.

2010-10-10T20:38:00.002+08:00

im really hungry now. oh man.

i couldnt even find some instant food from my fridge. and the fact that i don't have a microwave at home means i cant heat anything without using pots. why isn't there food at causeway point!

gah.

for everything im feeling stressed and unhappy about, i think i just have to accept that it's my fault. i can't ever find people to blame because it's just not morally right. and even if i think someone is wrong/ bad, there's always excuses for them for being who they are. it serves me right for whatever im feeling because i think too much. It doesn't matter what i think though because it doesn't matter to anyone.

keep being invisible. (okay, i don't need to be. im invisible naturally) That's how i adapted, am going to survive on for the days i hope will pass by quickly enough.

I don't like the environment. The place, the vibes. It will kill me soon enough if i don't choose to live in my own bubble.

I don't want to feel/understand what's happening. I just what to listen to what's happening and be a third party that gives trite comments. be someone who is just absorbing the melodrama around me and not processing the human behaviour.

I have to change.
No matter how much i dislike where im now, i got to focus on my own stuff.

2010-09-25T22:12:00.002+08:00

Everyday, every single minute there is someone in the world who is suffering, who feels like dying, who can't find someone to talk to, who wants to be anyone else except himself. i would like to pray for him.

It's so hard nowadays to go through a single day without being angry at someone unless i switch off my senses and find ways to live in my own bubble. To be blind. Deaf. Mute. Because feeling unhappy is even worse than feeling nothing.
--
On a cliff, when facing your enemy with a gun pointing at you, you have to jump off the cliff because there's a higher possibility of surviving. Midway to death you managed to grab hold of a branch and you felt hope. Human survival instinct kicks in and you struggle to find a way out. But if you still can't find a way and the branch can't support you any longer, do you let go or wait for the branch to snap?

2010-09-21T22:32:00.002+08:00

why are some people hateful?

oh man. bad way to start a post. i don't know why my life seems to be filled the same few things. things that are really really hateful. i am so desperate for this year to end and never in my life had i wished for a year to end. if i ever need to find a word to describe this year it would be torturous. It is torturous to see faces you don't wish to see. It is torturous to know of things you don't want to know. It is torturous to form perceptions of people (because human nature gets shallower every time i look deeper). It is torturous to tolerate attitudes. It is torturous to know that life might have been better if I'hd made a different choice.

because everything was wrong from the start, it is hard to live with it. finding escapes from time to time isn't going to help. And since i don't have the power to change hateful attitudes, i just have to go through the torture of tolerating it. And it is even worse when hateful attitudes appear only at specific timings. wolf/sheep's clothing? i don't know. Pretentious, frickle-minded, brain smaller than a pea, people rule. way to go man. they really make the world better.

Shred them.

And then there are the meanos. self righteous.

The world certainly welcomes more conflicts.

Compromise doesn't exist when people are stubborn with their ways and still think they are the greatest.

such a whim.

2010-08-29T17:37:00.004+08:00

back to reality again.

YOG is over )): i really did had a great great time last two weeks. Usually when you miss school for something else, you would worry about your homework but i didn't even think about homework during the YOG work days. I didn't care at all for not being in school for lessons. I guess i finally understood what people mean by when you really enjoy something, you wouldn't mind compromising other things. well, end up i'm really lagging in school and nearly broke down last thursday when i did like 2 marks out of a 16 marks math pre-test. But the fact was i wasn't catching up with work even before yog. Lost the pace of working... worst thing is everyone seems to be 'hype-up' about promos, and i still don't feel it coming:/

what's the deal? -Study and do well to prove that i'm worth something.

I hope i'm coming back spiritually. haha. YOG was super fun but i don't really know why. Well, i guess knowing new people, camping at shermaine's house with cai, watching tv after so many months at shermaine's house while cai was the only one studying, walking to TBP, creating day pass, trying to get the printer working, taking pictures with athletes, ESP THE MEXICAN GUY!, WAVING GOODBYE LIKE MAD TO THE NICE NICE ITALIAN ATHELE, going yov to feel the party, free bus and mrt rides, getting cool badge from a NOC, shaking hand with Ng Ser Miang, looking out of container expecting the prince of duno where to come in from BOH for the biking event, watching the biking events at FMB, drinking so much soft drinks, using the disgusting toiles at TBP, eating mac chicken burger without lettuce n many many more things were fun. I'll miss them all because they are good memories. They say it's like being part of the historic moment.

yep. There's still a party on the 17th at Universal Studios. Can't wait and hope to see many people there :D

i should really get going.

2010-07-12T22:14:00.003+08:00

keep pushing myself so hard because i was never satisfied.

but now im afraid if you push me any further i may just turn off completely. expectations i blindly work towards may not mean anything.

can't i just live in my dreams a little while longer?

2010-07-11T22:19:00.002+08:00

everything is in state of disorder, my room is the prove of it.

there's like this pile of intellectual magazines that i didn't read, stacks of 'stuff' under my bed. i really need to clear them by the following week. maybe then i can start painting the wooden parts of Eiffel tower and start building it.

there's going to be many important things to complete for the rest of the year. i don't know how i'm going to survive it but it's a must to survive it and to survive exceptionally well.

and i need to stop finding things to do that keeps me away from doing work.

2010-07-07T22:19:00.004+08:00

it's so hard to cry alone.
though it makes me tougher every time.

i'm so tired, again, for the umpteen time in the year. everything changed and yet nothing changed. everything i once believed in crashed and died. everything seems not important anymore. everything that i want to be became everything i gave up to be.

live still moves on. to believe everyone has a purpose in life to fulfil just sounds increasingly unconvincing each day. maybe the purpose was to not have a purpose after all.

what happens when you find that you're at the starting point in the end?

2010-06-03T22:16:00.002+08:00

finding satisfaction in everything you do...

i guess that shook me out of my emo-ness or whatever that made me feel so down these days. my life is quite screwed since start of jc, have been telling people that a lot. well it seems like jc is a time for you to get to know this practical, cold world and blah blah. i guess it bothered me a lot that i'm not going to achieve anything great in jc. you just get the feeling that you don't excel in anything and your presence isn't important to anything. plus seeing many high achievers in your daily life is just depressing. it's the feeling that: why am i not good in anything. no goal, no aim, no passion for anything....

then because most of the time im thinking too much, i started to doubt.
what people did and what i heard of people affected me a lot. which shouldn't have. and i just learnt that i shouldn't be. it is too tiring to try to find excuses for people when they don't even bother in the first place, when they are oblivious to what you feel. it's kind of confusing but it's the best i can explain. people who are just busy with their own lives, who don't bother to look around, who think people can't achieve just plainly because they don't try, who just have too many other people that appear important, i've decided that they are not great at all. you can think im consoling myself, being bitter or whatsoever, but im sure im not deluding myself in anyway.

不再为别人辩解。不再去怀疑自己。i guess this is something i learnt from these months of unhappiness. this sounds like a reflection or something...anyway, i also learnt that 有些你不能控制的事就不要勉强下去，因为往往受伤的是你。 at times, you feel that you have been giving so much and you just want a little in return. you try harder, wait, give chances to forgive yet there's still nothing. so point is it is time to let go, really let go and don't care about it anymore because no one is ever going to pity you or be able to pull you out of your misery. face the fact that whatever you've been trying is not worth your attention anymore because it is basically screwing up your life. you'll just end up being unfair to yourself. and in this situation being selfish is not a crime, it is just a way to protect yourself.

i guess that's the end of my whole reflection .-. this will probably help in enlightening myself when i need enlightening again. my pronouns are all screwed btw. so anyone who ever reads this, don't be affected by the 'you' because it just means 'me'. just that i don't like using 'i' and 'me' because im more comfortable writing this in a passsive way.

say bye to sadness.

2010-05-23T12:10:00.002+08:00

oh man. can't get into my neopets account )))): the stupid thing asked for my birthday and i cant remember the fake one i put))): sobs sobs. there's like over a million inside and nice nice paintbrushes and all those precious items i kept like since primary 5. goodness): many times it got hacked but i still got in back and now.... hais. ))): super sad.

is there any wonder that life's getting sadder? and there are some things that someday you just have to give up or being forced to do so... just like my neopet ):

i need to feel a commitment to something
and somewhere i belong.

2010-05-01T20:18:00.002+08:00

class outing so fail. hahahaha. end up only 7 people went :O suggestion was made that next time everyone place deposit before class outing and those who don't come the deposit will be shared among the people who turn up. hahaha. two guys wore the 'i love HC' shirt and took a 'couple' picture. check facebook to know who (:

today is a fun day :D
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i just realised under my name on the blog, it's still st nicks.
maybe i'll never think of adding to it.

2010-04-29T20:53:00.003+08:00

seems like i havent blogged for a long time ):

today i went botanical garden for bio olympaid training. i seriously don't know why i joined it in the first place when i sleep in lectures. sigh. but the practicals were fun though. swat ying and i were laughing at wen cong last week. hahaha. he bought 5 packets of beans and we didn't use them for any experiments! he looked funny when he was playing with the flowers too. hahahaha. :) you can get the picture from swat ying :)

anyway, i must have looked retarted hugging my laptop and carrying a huge bag while roaming around the botanical garden. i seriously considered abandoning my laptop among the plants. we had to fill up some weird worksheet that i didn't have the least idea of how to go about doing it. the name of the plants are seriously ridiculous... who would remember names like magnoliopsida?! met some weird people on the way too. like this model wearing some clothes made of recycled stuff? the 'skirt' was like made up of magazines that were folded into fans. she was wearing heels somemore and walking up the hill. in those weird clothes ._.wonder how she can stand it.

then we went home. me and suat ying didn't know how to get to the bus-stop so we followed some random school mates in front. somehow, we walked past NUS and some 'moe cca area'. it is actually possible to walk to botanic garden from school you know.

and
yay. weekend it coming soon! i don't know if school has became so bad that i only look forward to the weekends. i really want to do nothing for a day. hais. just want to be a slacker. i don't feel like using my brain anymore too. wonder if i even have one in the first place.

i need to get back to reality man even though my life is quite screwed.

need a miracle.

~need to get back to work again ):

2010-03-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

i hate it when the same thing happens everyday. aren't you all tired? when will you ever grow up? i can't just pretend to build soundproofing walls when they don't exist.

hais. work are piling up and there isn't a clear button to solve it. there's like so many things to do until i don't know which to focus on. and doing a bit here and there is not the way. can't seem to remember stuff.

people whom i can talk to are so far away and end up bottling up a lot of stuff. it is horrible when you are the one who knows what's happening from many accounts. i need to learn to ignore stuff and be some insensitive freak ):

woo~~ tmr is friday! i shall make time to start building some wooden thing i bought. i shall also start saving money to buy chip too because dale is so lonely and becoming anti-social :O

2010-03-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

full stop?

or ...

hahaha. i can't believe i actually left homework undone. maybe i'll just die tmr. great.

met up with squadmates today!!!!!!! and i think it has been a long time since i laughed so hard. melody and her 'oreo, chin chao (grass jelly), kitkat....' jokes and pung and her 'shit' jokes. HAHAHAHAHA. we all brought homework except clarissa but didn't have the mood to do them in the end though pung suggested going library :o

some things i'll never get it. i don't know why there's a need to hide. but i just came to accept that some things are that practical. whatever it is, stay away.
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no matter what, you all have won the journey.

2010-03-18T20:04:00.004+08:00

http://easy-.dearball.cz.cc/zledixarece.html

ha. click on the link above. you'll feel lame after doing the whole thing but trust me you will keep clicking after one click (:

last Saturday was a reflective day.
so, there was this family day for the mentally disabled. when you look at them, you feel that most of the time you want too much and you ask yourself whether there's a need to want so much. For them to answer something simple to us is as difficult as us trying so hard to solve a math question. they may not be normal to us and sad to say some people will never accept them, but they seem to be happy enough to be who they really are. and they won't be forced to achieve because people don't expect them to.

everyone can be given equal rights but where you start off will never be the same, never be equal.

yea so after the cip thing went queuing for a few pens because of 25% popular discount! (: gave me a chance to grab more markers because of the mindset that it'll be cheaper if i buy then. haha. and yup the few of us took picture in 'ion' toilet because the toilet looks high class i guess? and end up looking like refugees in the picture. -shall put it on fb when i get to know my phone better (; -

then monday, i went for meet-the-people session and got to know of some common problems some people in society are experiencing now. some people just have different way of running their lives that they end up needing help. it was so hard to suppress my consistent coughing which must have been rude.

i need songs! nice food! like pasta! bag! since it's tearing at the bottom! wallet! cuz the zip is torn! slippers! my old ones broke during orientation! so many things! more sleep! more entertainment! more interesting things to happen in my life! and i want fly to australia and meet theresa!

that's a lot to ask for but for me most things are just going to end up like my wish list in the past that will never be done or fulfilled.

where am i aiming?

2010-03-01T19:35:00.002+08:00

okay so i havent really done anything productive today. i haven't been concentrating on anything ever since school started because there weren't a specific goal. you know like in sec 4, the goal was 'o's and i knew what i was doing in cca. so now in a whole new place and whole new life, it isn't surprising that im lost. maybe others have found there way through this maze but i have to say im still trying to. someone just told me that i'hv to adapt to the environment and not the other way round, i agree, but it isn't helping.

so i quitted fencing and im back to the same point from where i started. and i wonder why i am always going in circles. the major problem must be me being afraid to take risk. but how am i suppose to have the courage to do so when it seems that i always fail. things just don't go my way most of the time.

i really wonder why i am where i am now. it juxtaposes to what i said two years ago. it seems realllyy long ago.

i am real sick of making choices too because i always don't know whether the choice is correct. i guess the answers i need are still in process. but i really hope to get somewhere.

then there's certain things that are happening now that is invisible to one's eye. that's real evil i think. i mean why not just be direct?! haiz. someone's bound to get hurt in the end.

PW is real weird. im still trying to identify the problem. haiz. and can someone please teah me how to use the nlb thing.

oh no, i think i've abusing my poor laptop. it's working too hard ):

decisions...

2010-02-15T21:48:00.000+08:00

am i unwilling to try?

2010-02-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

anyway, apart from my horrible haircut, today was great. ARES won the faculty dance. woo~~~ then many people went high (:

st nicks canteen is great :D great food :D

2010-02-12T20:53:00.003+08:00

i dont dont dont like to go to any hairdresser. apparently my hair always look ridiculous. it is ridiculously short again. i can go zhuang qiang. it's very ugly. argh.

2010-02-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

)))))))))):

dont think i get to be yog volunteer. that's sad.

and stupid me missed my house bus stop and have to walk home from interchange. it was embarrassing okay because i press the bell and prepared to get off the bus after i missed the stop. a few stared at me. zzzzzzz.

so on my way home, i saw this man playing GOLF at the grass area. must be no money go countyclub :o

zzzzzzzzz. i want to be yog volunteer! should have chosen the spectator something...

2010-02-07T15:00:00.002+08:00

oh no this is bad and i wouldn't want to start emo-ing. rah. tnaw i tahw teg tndid i.

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2010-02-06T21:15:00.000+08:00

im hoping.

2010-02-04T21:23:00.002+08:00

today was a violent day.

abrasions and cuts.

we are the god of war -ares

2010-02-03T22:10:00.002+08:00

i went overboard.

when you can only choose one between being 'respectful' and 'voicing out what you think', which one would you choose? it isnt that i chose to hurt them with my words but it was inevitable when i had to defend my stand. i refuse to think i was wrong though i've to accept it on the surface. WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED??!!!

i never said i wanted to 'win' the argument but why do you make me feel that life is superficial? and you're telling me now that i shouldn't go forward when i think i can't? fantastic advice man.

striving to try
is that selfish?

2010-02-01T21:06:00.002+08:00

i'm always getting myself into trouble. and i came out unscathed with just a little heart attack. i actually didn't sbmit the subject combination thing properly!!!! thankyou joven, shermaine and two strangers for helping me(: thankyou!!!

2010-01-31T19:00:00.007+08:00

learn it the hard way.

i guess i've never realised how much i've got until things stop being normal. it took me four years to find my way and now i'm faced with the unfamiliar again. but this time it's harder... i think. i'm now trying to start a car with no oil in the tank.

it doesnt matter how mundane life can be, i hope to regain normalcy soonn.

2010-01-27T19:40:00.002+08:00

this is an eccentric message from theresa to her friends! -i know it's hard to read in the caps-

STAY ACTIVE AND HEALTHY AND TREASURE YOUR LIFE AND DONT FORGET TO PEE AND EAT AND DONT ME SURPRISED IF I COME BACK FAT AND DONT STARVE YOURSELF TO STAY THIN AND DONT TRY TO AVOID AND IGNORE ME COZ I WILL FEEL SAD AND DONT FORGET ABOUT ME HOR AND JIAYOUS IN YOUR STUDIES

DONT GO CRAZY AND DISOBEY THE LAW AND GET YOURSELF DRUNK WHEN YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALLOWED TO AND DONT EMO AND CUT YOURSELF. THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER SOLUTION

she also said must do her proud and miss her! sounds like some adult. hahaha. anyway there's still more....

DONT FORGET ME
JIAYOUS
DONT GO SUICIDAL
DONT GO MUGGING CRAZY

yup. that should be all. this is the longest post in many months i think. all thanks to theresa!

2010-01-26T20:30:00.003+08:00

you know sometimes i really want to be good at something. maybe if i could sing, dance or draw i wouldnt have to think of what i want to be.

2010-01-22T20:22:00.002+08:00

it's scary that no words can express what im feeling now. it's scary to find the pieces tumbling down again.

2010-01-05T15:20:00.002+08:00

i have no patience at all and you can slap me for that. staying at home is not good anymore. it's making me frustrated and weird. box me.

so whatever im going to write has no connection to whatsoever.

just got insulted and i guess i had that coming. words slap, cut and leave you bleeding. maybe someone should call the psychologist and you know wipe out my memory.

life goes on

2010-01-01T22:44:00.002+08:00

So today is the start of the new year.

you know what, when you're at home for too long, you start to get used to it. wake, eat, read, eat, play, eat, stare, sleep. right now, i seriously don't have the urge to go back to anything. laidback or whatever you call me, it's hard to get the engine to start again. anyway, it sputtered through the last year.

thinking back, many times i'hv been in the shadows, wanting to step out and show that im something. so what am i?

will i be?

2009-12-03T22:44:00.005+08:00

SURPRISE!!!

thank you people! theresa! angeline! charlene! joven! cai! thank you so much

so after picking up 'lost' angie, we went pizza hut. i didn't even suspect anything until tirumisu came to me:) it's super nice i tell you! i shall post the picture when i get it :)

i'm really touched because i never really celebrated my birthday in this way before and rarely there was chance since it's in the holidays. so THANK YOU again people! My wonderful friends! i really don't know how to say how happy i am. You'all made my day, my birthday this year:)

today will be etched in my memory, always...

2009-12-02T16:55:00.019+08:00

im still UNEMPLOYED!!!

ha. searching for jobs is realllyyy difficult so i doubt i'll ever laugh at the unemployed in drama serials loitering at parks.

so that was monday. today i packed my letters into this christmas box i just bought! it awfully cute okay! and reading all those letters again brought back fond memories. though it's sort of cliche but who cares. i love all those people who had written letters to me!

random but here comes food!

double delight at secret recipe! mango slice! cappacino!

ice cream on jelly! (weird but it's nice!) walnut cake! brownie!

fruit tarts! starbucks white chocolate mocha frappe!(ha. drank this like at 1am!)

AND I MOPPED THE FLOOR TODAY! WOOTS!

2009-11-20T17:19:00.003+08:00

this is really horrible. i can't put my thoughts into words these days so they come out incoherent. i'hv been thinking about LIFE. im probably emo-ing but i think thinking about my goals is important though nothing ever flowers from my thinking process. after so much of so called acquiring knowledge process sometimes i feel that i'm useless. apart from reading the textbook, answering questions, what more do i know about? when i feel like doing something i'hv never done before, there's this voice in my head that says "you won't be good at it". truth is i don't seem to be good in anything. i want to do something that i feel i'm good at and not be looked as insignificant. why am i not gifted for something?

gah. thinking too much again and i really don't know who i should talk to to feel better. it's probably self-pity im feeling for myself. is it because of the environment i'hv been in for four years? who's to say things may have been different if i'hv been somewhere else.

where do i feel like going now?
do i belong?

2009-11-17T00:00:00.002+08:00

it shows exactly 12 on my computer clock. how cool is that. i think i'hv never blogged during midnight. oh well.

today went cai's house and played the wee game or is it wi? oh whatever. and i realised i cant play remote control games. i actually held the remote the wrong way and 'mushroom' character in the game ended up turning round and round. then went with theresa to shop for her dress. she gave me a hard time. really. because she didn't want to try on those dresses. good thing is she found her dress! yip!

im trying to find some shiny thing to put on my wrist. so maybe i'll be going bugis street these few days? zzzz...

i just finish watching 'hot shot' (a very long ago show) and i think the ending doesn't make any sense.

i think nobody comes here anymore but i'll continue blogging because reading my own posts is like reading a diary and i can feel how i felt at point of time when writing those posts.

it's so amazing that i havent touched any books in three days.

2009-11-15T21:25:00.002+08:00

today i went to hunt for a dress with my mum and aunt and i want to say i have never tried on so many clothes in a day in my life. it was really SHOPPING. now that i really shopped i cant say i like it because it was horrible :x seeing pretty dress is one thing, looking good on you is another thing. and most of the time the dresses i tried didn't fit at all. or i shall say there isn't any dress of my size. $#%^&

oh whatever. i shall go watch shows now.

btw, only everything fits well on a manequin.

2009-11-04T17:32:00.002+08:00

i think i regret. seriously. i shouldnt be thing like that i know. but argh...

now i think back, i realise things weren't that smooth but somehow they're over and can't really remember what were not good.

haiz.

on the surface there don't seem to be any expectations but surely somewhere in you, you expect something though i don't really know what they are. im mixing up all my pronouns but who cares.

what happens when there seems to be no faith but only expectations?
wouldn't it be fun if we study just for the sake of acquiring knowledge? and studying is not used to determine how good you are?
okay. i think it is not possible after all if im still living on this planet.
so i don't care if the world is going to end at 2012.

2009-09-22T17:57:00.003+08:00

there isn't a single post in july, so i must be working very hard for that month, right? today is the last day of prelims and also the day to start working hard, isn't it ironical? been watching too much youtube these days and im so up to date with celebrity news. the book i just finish was thrilling. it's called i heard that song before by mary higgins clark. there are alot of complications in the murders and everyone invovled knew a bit of something but they lied to protect themselves, so the whole picture took quite long to piece up.

ate baked rice today. pizza hut served the nice mushroom soup. i don't like the veggie chicken soup which i suppose normally served on friday.

i don't have much to blog these days, probably because my life is less troubled than before. there are problems out there or should i just say situations because it just affects me at certain moments, that is meant to be what it is i suppose. you just have to move along with the wave instead of being the stupid particle on the wave that bobs up and down perpendicular to the wave because you will get nowhere when other particles wave you goodbye. i shall end off with i kind of like the song 'run' by taylor swift.

2009-09-02T12:36:00.000+08:00

oh great, i am so careless, muddlehead, in-observant and whatsoever. i actually forgot to do the last question for maths paper 2 today. now i even wonder if i finished my maths paper 1 that day. i admit i could be dreaming a little but oh my gosh, i threw 10 marks away just like that. okay, so i realised there was this last question like 2 minutes before the end when i thought the graph question was the last? i was shivering hard i suppose so the three questions i supposedly did are most pobably wrong. aye. i don't feel sad, yup because i think this lesson should have hit me hard enough to prevent me from doing the same thing again. And smack me out of the day-dreaming state.

2009-08-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

there is this tendancy of me to procastinate when there is one extra day, so many things are left undone despite of my great plans to do more things apart the norm. more things would be more practice and play time. i achieved one so it should be a great accomplishment i suppose. i read two books. aren't you proud of me? one was horribly sad and i think i just can't accept unhappy endings in books. books are suppose to show the ideal world of fantasy. where hopes and dreams do come alive miraculously. this horrible sad book actually ended with 'he wanted to take a breath of fresh air'- the boy's mother had removed the life support system as he wanted to have his last walk in the garden. he died which was heartwrenching because he had struggled to live for 12 years. i can't blame the author because even if she was kind enough there was no way the boy could be cured.

is it becoming increasingly hard to believe there's miracles in life? or has it become so rare that we lose faith in it. i really don't know. one thing im sure of: no work no gain. but then again even when you work, there might not be gain. so, how do you force in the idea that hard work is all that matters when you don't see results?

is it a must to accept that some people are born to be while others are not?

2009-06-20T21:03:00.002+08:00

i come to realise food determines my mood. dinner was inedible today. you wouldn't call it vegetable rice. it's so depressing to know that im eating for the sake of eating. but come to think about it, it has been like that for quite some time, hasn't it?

i think im running out of tolerance. where lies the blame?

2009-05-22T21:40:00.004+08:00

it seriously hurts to know that you are always alone. it's like hitting your head against the wall. somehow physical injury will heal someday but feelings are never healed. it's like putting plaster on it but the wound is still there everytime you put it behind you. and you wonder everytime: what am i suppose to do? then come out with the conclusion that nothing can be done but to stick back the plaster again. as long as it holds, the wound wouldn't be exposed to water and it wouldn't hurt. but there are times, you peel it off yourself and look at it. it's worst than a stab in the heart because it's still there no matter how hard you have tried to get on with life. and when you look at people around you, life seems to be pretty normal and you ask why are you the abnormal one? why do you have to think like that? maybe is the problem with thinking too much and refusing to admit that this is my life though i don't want it to be like that. there's too much things i keep but the world will be in a mess if i open the box of misery, if i stop pretending normal. somehow i hope to just sleep and wake up to find that i'm okay. or just let me sleep and rest a while.

give me a moment to spread my wings and see the world

2009-04-20T21:41:00.002+08:00

for some reasons my computer is always converting some webpages into chinese. oh whatever. talking about chinese, my higher chinese is horrible. and i don't know what i am suppose to do about it. see. horrible means horribble.

in case you are wondering why am i here. my answer is simply, i'm taking a break. seriously, nowadays i get commented when i watch TV. although i know there is insufficient time and i would be able to finish my work if i sit in front of the desk for 24hrs, i don't find the point in doing that. sometimes i wonder where is the freedom in life? it's more of a routine. and the fact that we or maybe only me can't possibly stay attentive in every single lesson just means time is wasted day-dreaming away. i have to wake up soon.

oh well. whatever it is, even if the sky drops down tomorrow, i am going to queue for ice-cream. nothing is more important than getting free ice-ream tomorrow!!! :)))

sometimes when you think love doesn't exit,
you just see it
and it warms your heart
then you wonder if you have it

2009-03-22T21:00:00.002+08:00

i love google earth and i just have to urge to say it. life is getting i dunno what. my sneezing isn't improving and the idea of going to school tomorrow with packets of tissue to last me the whole day, is just so not appealing.

to end off on a bright note. i shall say each's term is getting better and better. besides, i just ate breadtalk's greentea cake. so life should be good.

2009-03-20T12:24:00.002+08:00

i am enjoying life, am i? online in the noon time. and i tell you, i haven't finish all those stuff. stuff. seriously i can't imagine people mugging now. i can just faint if i really see one because it will really make me feel guilty. see. i am not working. aye. what a lazy pig you will say.

something very funny happened yesterday i don't know how to say here in words. anyway, maybe you may find it not funny because it's sort of you must see it. hoho. i was in the library yesterday. it wasn't on purpose. and i must say i didn't go there to spread my germs. besides, a lot of people are coughing in the library too. and i found out library posters are quite funny too. you really should take a moment of your life to go see. it wouldn't be a waste of time. and and i redeemed my beloved caculator. now, it is back home. your life will be just as incomplete with a caculator really. okay maybe only for me because im really bad at mental sums.

come to think of it. nothing is really good.

anyway, i found the song i heard on radio. it's called The Show by Lenka.

I'm just a little bit
Caught in the middle
Life is a maze
And love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cuz it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cuz I just can't get enough

I am just a little girl
Lost in the moment
I'm so scared
But don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

um de dum
Dudum de dum

2009-03-18T17:45:00.002+08:00

oh man. i seriously need renewable tissue. with every sneeze i'm killing trees. i don't like to be sick. and seriously who likes to be sick when there's this pile of whatever on your desk waiting to be whatever. yeah. it's such a good excuse to just leave it alone because i am sick but wouldn't i be deluding myself? because whether you are sick or not deadline means DEAD-LINE. and tell me what crap is this: "Have A Good Rest" i'm starting to think that as a form of sacrasm instead of a form of concern. oh please, what is the meaning of good rest? working 24 hours a day? finishing studying tests that coming up at your feet? FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK!!!!??? and hoho congrats to you falling sick.

And i still thought i could have some time to read my books. Continue to dream.... and great, don't need to tell me that im wasting time blogging. Blogging is not important and not urgent.

but seriously im super behind in my homework. you ask me what i'hv done, you can probably faint. with my fever going on a roller coaster ride, everything is unpredictable because what i plan to do wouldn't be accomplished by the end of the day. i end up falling asleep halfway through something. and do i need to declare that im so proud that i slept for 20 hours? okay, not straight 20. occassional wake-ups for my meals and medication.

i wouldn't say life is so sad because it is just toooo depressing.
i would say life will be better tomorrow.
ah... doesn't this sounds better?

2009-02-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

Blame it on my carelessness. What more do you want./

2009-01-24T18:47:00.002+08:00

i think my blog is super dead but i will post still!

THANKYOU ABI AND JOY for the WONDRFUL chocolate cake!

i had cake for recess on friday! and pizza hut for lunch! woo~~~ i am indulging myself too much, am i?

i did nothing yesterday. slept at 9pm wake up at 8am today. i think i am just too tired or maybe too into the holiday mood already. everybody should watch american idol because some contestants are just so funny. you will see that kind of people - that kind that don't have talent but think highly of himself and act like--i dunno what word to use. you will say oh please, just stop embarrassing yourself.

there is a lot of homework. seems a lot because i'm distracted by the books i borrowed yesterday.

i thought i have more to say but they just disappeared somehow. i having steamboat tomorrow and i will tell you what i eat because i am going to eat A LOT!!!

2009-01-14T18:45:00.005+08:00

when light shines everywhere, which path will you take?
and when darkness falls, you know that you have to follow the only light that is shinning.

life can never be better. what stupid careless mistakes have i made so far? quite a lot actually so i better start waking up. no, must wake up now or else the moon will collapse, which is enough to destroy the earth.

i am not going to describe school life. btw, whale rider is not nice. Why is there such a book with so many facts and legends! and there is apparently a purpose for the author deciding to start the book by describing weird-ed animals.

chinese new year is coming but yet i cannot feel the festive mood. it is probably due to the fact that i see it as a four-day-eat-sleep-and-rest period. haha. and i wouldn't receive much ang baos either.

i want to drink dong gua cha. thirsty luh.

i think this is ridiculous. read....
CPR is an attempt to revive someone whose heart and/or breathing has stopped. This attempt can be made by using special drugs or machines or pressing very firmly on the chest.

In Colorado, it is presumed you would want CPR unless you and your doctor have signed a form that allows you (or your agent or proxy) to refuse CPR.

In Colorado, it is presumed you would want CPR unless you and your doctor have signed a form that allows you (or your agent or proxy) to refuse CPR.
If you have a CPR directive, and your heart and/or lungs stop, medical personnel won't try to press on your chest.

2008-12-29T19:24:00.004+08:00

crap. ~~shit. sai.~~ i don't like ~~shit and sai~~ so give me more words to describe the crappy thing that just happened. okay that seems impossible because i can't tell you what happened.

i've been shopping lately. sort of window-shopping. i did buy a few stuff like a shirt, a bag and a pair of new shoes but coincidentally or not they are all last piece stuff. then meet weird people along the way. like someone who answers her phone, without even saying hello, she says shut up and ended the call. and little human comes half walking, half crawling towards me. and the person who served my grape ice-cream in a restaurant talked to me in Japanese.

weird. weird. weird.

my tuition enrolment test-whatever you call it-was weird also. i remembered last time i was supposed to write something about superheros. this time is expository: write about ways to deal with stress. the superhero one was better because i rather pretend to be some spiderman than to be some pro telling people how to deal with stress.

fantasy holiday is ending. don't like to be reminded but someone is always reminding me.

the xiao niang re show is so sad. so evil. dumb men who can do nothing to uphold justice and shrewd women who think they can rule the world. sometimes it gets so infuriating watching the show because bad people rule the pitiful ones. it's showing now.

after snow comes spring

angel does something wrong but it will somehow drag the devil along because somehow the devil forgot to use brain and think and just keep mouth shut. guess what? the ultimatum delivered is always directed to the devil. no such thing as fairness. is there?

2008-12-17T11:26:00.002+08:00

grow-ing whenever we can,
we're growing when we're sleeping
and even when we play.
as we grow alittle longer,
we can do more things,
because im growing
and so are youuuuu

2008-12-13T12:46:00.006+08:00

know what? reading profession in books arouse my interest in them but it is simply impossible to try them all. A tennis player, a photographer, a dancer, an artist or just simply being rich and roam the world. okay the last one isn't a profession at all, it's just simply a person who can enjoy life to the fullest. yup. and all that i'hv mentioned is ridiculous for a person like me stuck in a room with one window and a door o.o and i just finished a story of a racer, it is super(since i don't like use the word damn) amazing and thrilling. it is written in the 1980s so i think the racing danger is higher. and no, don't get the idea that i want to be a racer. i wonder how people can sit in that stuffy thing and race rounds and rounds at top speed.

so, books put you in the virtual world. i wouldn't consider fantasy a bad thing but it's simply annoying to know that they wouldn't come true. like day-dreaming. they can let you be something you are not in real life. who knows, real life might be a fantasy after all? hmmm?

i am crapping and i like to say that because i refuse to admit what i have written above are maniacal. insane. anyway, there's this super dumb show showing on tv-not cable tv, so you can guess since i narrow down the possibilities :> dumb until it is funny. the actor's tone very act-child-like and that guy is simply dumb also. hahah. if you know the show im talking about, we should have the same sentiments. whole point is if you don't like tooo funnyy shows don't watch it. ha. and i don't want to reveal what show that is because i don't want to be a mean pok.

did i mention that i'hv been dropping hair recently. i just need to twirl it and a strand just drop out. and i didn't pull my hair these few weeks since im currently not stressed by anything.

embrace and what do you get?

2008-12-10T12:00:00.005+08:00

aww~~~ i am so bored. i can read books the whole day because i borrow nice ones but it is just so wrong to leave my pile of homework lying there. then again, when i start doing them, i stone at the questions partly half of the time and it is super annoying to know that i take so long to finish something.

last week was totally/ half wasted because i was sick. should i describe how horrible it was? no. i shall just say that i spent few hundred bucks and the hospital doctor didn't cure me and only 15 bucks for a clinic doctor and i recovered. AND i can't consume antibiotics. i ate four and it worsened the problem so i ended up not completing the whole course of antibiotics :/

MATHS MAKE ME MAD so i shall say the amount of maths homework is insane, or should i say it is the questions that are insane? it so hard to keep your sanity when there's simply work to be done. bottom line? i am becoming lazy due to this holiday. which is a abominable thing.

is this considered long already? i got too much pictures to post so maybe later. before i finish off, i 've got something to declare: I WANT TO WATCH MOVIESSSS. so anyone wants to watch movie find me!!!!

2008-12-03T16:50:00.002+08:00

unlucky or not, my fever yesterday went up to 39. and my home thermometer wasn't acurate at all so i thought it was just 38+. because i don't have sore throat or running nose blah blah blah, the doctor said i looked perfectly fine and suspected dengee(spelt like that?). so, they took my blood which appears to be fine currently. they took a whole tube btw, it is great news that i didn't faint :/ and it feels horrible to swallow tablets because i can feel it going down my oseophagus.

there goes my great meal tomorrow. even if i can eat, i don't have the appetite. i feel bloated ): vomited my breakfast yesterday and today:/

i shall stop blogging about my sickness.

2008-12-01T23:13:00.003+08:00

yoyo! i need to post something because it is first of december.

so i got a laptop. i don't deny that it is so very cool because the key pad is so nice to type on. it is also very irritating too because the one i bought initially got problem. the 3rd day of purchase which is today, it can't on at all. and i paid a bomb for it-.- okay, not me. the one im using now is brand new :)

and did your watch the news? i think im so cut out from the world until yesterday? people in america got this christmas sale and people actually got shot or something? yup. i think someone died is it? in any case, it's so violent.

nice shows are starting to show i suppose.
AND i must make good use of the holidays :)
*above two have no link*

BEST month of the year is here! <3

2008-11-28T20:06:00.003+08:00

every end is a new beginning...

ha. i slept and just woke for dinner. coming home by bus with a lot of this and that is a so diu lian experience because of my clumsiness. i decided to pull my bag since it got wheels but the whole bag can't seem to travel straight and part of it was dragging against the floor because one wheel wasn't touching the ground? it went in a either zig-zag or curve path.

things are whirling past me. it's okay. it's alright. december is coming! and i love this month. everyone must love december too! pick up the mess and move on:)

im sorry for my mood swings people. i was very irritated when i got the table filled with milo powder and sugar._ _. i can't put my thoughts in words. it is very hard. this post shall be short again.

sorry.

2008-11-25T20:22:00.005+08:00

my life is not that sad okay? it doesn't sound like a very correct word. i shall give you aother word describing my life some time after because right now my vocabulary is limited.

went fairprice today and lugged a lot of things back. plastic bags broke along the way and made me laughed like siao. and we entered some lucky draw thing also. btw, tweety's head is too big. hahahah.

erms. what did i want to say? i suspect my blogging skills is plummeting? i can't remember what i want to blog about and even if i remember i can't put them in sentences. that's very bad. i just told joy to cook using head as stove if you want to know. hahahah.

jia yous for minicomp people! All the best and good luck. <3

i sent 5 sms today again. my phone will be blasted off the planet soon. im being random here. forgive me. hahah. i go watch show liao. byebye.

2008-11-24T22:32:00.003+08:00

Look hard, you'll see the stars.

Because PangYuhChyi isn't blogging, I'm helping her to post.

And she doesn't have time to post because her life is so so sad. Seriously, if I think it's sad, then it really is sad. But whatever, I'm sure I'm not supposed to be telling the world why her life is sad - it wouldn't be very ethical would it?

So anyway, she went to army market today (she didn't tell me!) for I don't know what. But that isn't significant, so I shall not elaborate. Ha.

And wonders never cease, she didn't eat alot today! (The ice milo wasn't nice) Ooh (:

Yknow, I think the whole world is quite dead right now. But that's only my opinion, and if you can understand what I said, well kudos to you.

I can't think of anything else to post. So au revoir for now.

Take the last flight out.

2008-11-20T21:49:00.003+08:00

did public duty with lynette at yio chu kang indoor hall yesterday . and i still can't understand how people play badminton at night when i was already falling asleep. so from 8am-11.30pm i was either stoning, eating, reading book, or chatting. even tried melting ice on my head. okay, it wasn't me who started it._ _.

i was very tired today. the weather wasn't nice at all. btw, my definition of nice weather is not sunny nor rainy but windy. dozed off in the bus luh. and some ---- woman gave me that face when i was digging for my wallet. i shouldn't have said sorry after all because she doesn't look a least bit kind.

i want to go ride bicycle again at east coast park! i shall post pictures i took some other time :) we saw spit, breakwater, tiny tombolo, swash, backwash........ had fun playing with the sand too. and got this couple out in the sea for more than 3 hrs? you wouldn't want to know what they were doing :o

i ate alot in the evening. there's like sushi, herbal jelly, herbal egg (cha ye dan), yam paste, in my digestive system and and plus my dinner.

time for bedtime stories. bb.

a new cycle is starting again,
yours and mine.

2008-11-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

make a wish.

i want go central public library! bishan library got alot of books but then nice books are on loan. i gave up reading promise me by harlen coben because i don't know why :/ and i act smart never read the first book of this trilogy series, go read the last book.

bottom line; don't try to be smart. just make sure you are smart. -crap-

good night.

2008-11-15T21:56:00.004+08:00

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CHRISTMAS IS JUST NEXT MONTH!!!!!

AH HA. i think christmas is the best festival every year. Don't you think so? it's a pity that singapore doesn't snow. awww~~~ i am in a so christmas mood today. december is the best month too :)))))

small part of yesterday was a total wreak. besides that, i bought chocolates from coca trees and doughnuts from j.co. i almost couldn't get out from coca trees. there's so many chocolates i want to buy you see but they cost a bomb. a small box of truffles from this particular brand was like $30++? -faint-

anyway, my eyes swelled the whole day. are still swelling. gah. it's half an hour to twelve and yet my comp time is like 7.28? stop escaping from reality.

2008-11-12T21:00:00.003+08:00

祸不单行。

what de---. freaking com is going slower than a snail. life is not great i tell you. not great. AT ALL.

i just found out i got nothing to blog about. the first line practically explained life today.

2008-11-11T20:29:00.003+08:00

hohoho. merry christmas.

i am not insane or whatsoever. i know it is not christmas yet. it means something else. my dad didn't want me to keep saying *** so tell me to say this instead. he is very crap btw.

today was sort of horrible. i don't think you want to hear a replay of my potato mischap. i am so guai because i didn't alter my results. you can just let me comfort myself with that. but hello. is that irritating potato want to shrink. hohoho. merry christmas. i am not that potato. i am not eating anything related to potato for like 1 month. if you see me eating. i give you every right to smack me.

hohoho. merry christmas. tomorrow got 2 hours of lesson. and when teachers start announcing next year's tests, i clapped you know. i felt extremely happy if you noticed. can jump over the moon and hope i land on pluto. nevermind it is freaking not a planet anymore.

AND i must tell you my first experience taking bus 74. hohoho. merry christmas. people packed like sardines, people elbow their way to get to the bus's door, people blasting music, people letting out natural gas. and i am pissed off. being shoved around isn't a least bit fun. taking bus is far far worst than taking mrt.

and i have been holding on to my umbrella on my way home. in case i need it to whack bad people. i just don't feel safe in a new environment i suppose. not that my old place is safe when some people actually snatched my umbrella from me.

i am going to finish my book. yay.

stars will continue to shine,
won't they?
good luck to people who need it this month :)

2008-11-09T21:03:00.003+08:00

i think blasted joy off the earth just now. and cai sent me a sword apparently for me to kill myself because i aked her to. i am not surprised if you ask why. and if you don't,(ask why) then i can understand because you don't want to be blasted out of earth :)

i want to see stars. but they only appear in the dark sky or else they wouldn't shine at all. you can't see them in the blinding sunlight. you can't.

so i got mud splashed on my feet thanks to my brother. he didn't get mud on himself, how great. it was gross okay but by the time i walk and walk quite a distance, it became dry soil.

and yesterday i borrowed 2 books. i finished one because there's not much to do. i do have alot of homework waiting for me though. i shall read another. thriller books are quite irritating in a way because they introduce so many characters and somehow these people link and i did get messed up with names occassionally.

i guess i not blasting people who read this right? i guess listening to music and radio cools me off. i will try to be a good girl. i will. i need to. and i must :)

goodnight, stars <3

2008-11-09T15:36:00.002+08:00

can't get in?
fit in.

2008-11-06T21:13:00.004+08:00

i don't have a single clue on what im feeling right now. like seriously? what am i suppposed to feel? when tears run dry, nothing will change reality.

my eyes are dry okay. i am not 'bawling'. whatever. 'cry' glands have stopped working for a long time. loads of crap.

my room is stripped bare. bare enough to leave my computer sitting by the corner. it is not disconnected yet or else i wouldn't be even blogging. i bet you know that. my brother is sort of obsessed with his echo in his room because it is also almost empty.

anyway, i am **** ** ***** **** thing in a good way. it makes thing better seriously. ignore me if you don't know what im talking. can't trust my sanity nowadays, do you?

i arranged my songs already. and my dad is probably weird. because he said something about buying 'something' to let me store songs and sort of considering laptop.

bye room ♥ i will remember you being yellow ♥

2008-11-05T22:45:00.004+08:00

what if i'm not a superhero? what if i'm the bad guy?

reading books on com isn't really the best idea since i have to stick myself to the computer chair. the news is almost full coverage on america's election results. it's like a so worldwide thing. news reported that even people in japan and china hopes obama to win. well... he did. electing an amercia's president seems like electing world's president. of course, there's no such thing, just showing how powerful this election is. it had obviously catched every country, every suburb, every town's attention. in other words, every human on this planet.

and i got a lot of songs today. so am i happy? the answer is: i am happy for this matter of fact. this question applies to like every aspect of my life so not every answer is positive.

i almost forgot tomorrow got lessons. how bad is that? very, i supposed. don't need to tell me that. i am currently sleepy but i don't want to sleep, not that i will get bad dreams after watching the coffin today--- just don't want to sleep. anyway, how many days do i get to sleep in this room again? 2 days. including today. i wouldn't be sitting in the same place, same spot, same altitude ever again, blogging.

many 'days' later, when i look at this block of flats from afar. it will just look strange and mysterious and i would probably wonder if i have really lived there before. and i forgot to add, my room can see the moon everyday you know? isn't that cool? okay, it's going to last for two more days and no more. i love my room's wall lamp alot----peanut shape. it doesn't belong to me already though.

everyone is hyper today. joy and cai are super hyper? hoho. i said hoho so many times today. uncountable times. i should add merry christmas.

should end off by telling the world 'twilight' is only coming out on 18/12 in singapore. other countries- 21/11. no sense. 1 month difference? ridiculous.

byebye. today is such an auspicious day.
everyone should know why.

2008-11-02T22:19:00.002+08:00

my cousins came. and one decided to send pictures to my phone because my wall paper is apparently not nice. and i missed my show. the hong kong show. is today the last episode? yup. and im supposed to gain 10 kg starting from today 10.41pm.

well... i suppose 10 is a bit too much. so i go for 5? and im short so 10 will sort of make me overweight right? -why am i even thinking of being overweight?

found twilight online so i read again. book obsession is acting up again.

i shouldn't drink orange juice now since i have washed up but not planning to sleep though.

eh i thought i got more things to blog about but looks like not much. And i watched xiao ding dang in the morning today. i have to admit it was funny.

byebye world. sleep well :)

2008-10-31T22:06:00.005+08:00

high school musical 3 is very nice :) as i expected it will be. smuggled alot of food in this time. got doughnut and bubble tea with white nata. the doughnut was quite badly ruined but we didn't have to see what we were eating because too dark already. and hiding two boxes of them in a popular plastic bag is a SO great idea...

i think the choreographers are very very cool don't you think? the part where the actors dance with basketball was cool. but i still like 'the boys are back' scene best. the little boys popped out from under the car were so funny. looks like everything is so cool eh? and apparently joy and friends gave Lucus Grabeel a standing ovation.

ha. before the movie got movie advertisement and they showed twilight! the extended from what i watched long time ago on youtube. Looks cool to me too :)

everything is cool today. and wouldn't it be cool if curry puffs and doughnuts are cooked by baking? instead of frying! :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the last time to get it right (Ooh)
This is the last chance to make it or not (Yeah)
We gotta show what we are all about (Team!)Work together

This is the last chance to make our mark (Shoot!)
History will know who we are (Yeah)
This is the last game so make it count
It's now or never

2008-10-29T23:43:00.006+08:00

so it seems like i am sleeping only after 12am today again. fact that i didn't do much work is disappointing. i need someone to teach me latent heat of fusion because i wasn't listening. i tried okay and it's difficult when like most people were not in physics mode during that time. and now i can't do that worksheet. why can't thing be simpler. or should i ask why people even want to find out such fusion stuff?

好朋友，简单的三个字，却难求。

i think too much of chinese passages are getting into my head. They do make perfect sense.

thinking makes you depressed? yeah it does. but obviously not thinking of how to solve a maths problem or something. that is supposed to challenge your brain. i am wondering now why everything is happening at the same time throughout the world. 1) milk scandal 2) america's general election 3) the stock market is plunging everyday.

anyway, i don't get the stock thing. why it rises and falls. and why people can't just print more money since money is something we, humans, created out of thin air.

i shall blog more of those compre phrases that i think are so great in my next post :)

sleep with sweet dreams <3

2008-10-28T21:54:00.003+08:00

i lost my banana pen. but the lab auntie was very nice when i asked if i could go check if my pen was in the science lab though :) i think i used it in school today because i can't find it anywhere at home. thanks to my failing memory over things not related to school work. now, i can't even be sure i lost it in school. puff! it disappeared.

i skipped lunch today. not sure it is considered an achievement though because hunger pungs attacked me on the way home. and the mrt was super crowded as usual due to people standing at awkward manner, taking up more space than needed. and i discovered something great: it is good to have very long hair for you to take mrt, because when you turn or anything, your hair will irritate people and they will obviously try as much as possible to lean away from your great hair. i was the one who got irritated.

i hopes it rains tonight although the sky doesn't look like it is on the brink of crying.

after the rain comes sunshine:)

2008-10-26T21:03:00.004+08:00

i eat alot today.
morning: Macs' Big breakfast
afternoon: porridge (okay, not that great)
dinner: thai food

i guess it doesn't take much effort to get me talking. takes me a lot of effort to keep my mouth shut. whenever i dun feel like talking, my dad will start his great talk and it makes me open my mouth and rebut. my mum will start asking me whether want to eat this or that. Like"you wanna eat cake?" in my concept, it is wrong to not answer a 'food' question.

chinese tuition today. the compre passage was full of phrases and sentences said by great philosopher and enlightening stories. 古人曾以一死如己，种子期死后，伯牙不复鼓琴。 apparently this person 伯牙 can play 鼓琴 very well. the other person 种子期 happened to pass by while he was playing songs and he could understand him through the song or whatever it was. As a result, they became 知己meaning great great friends. and they are supposed to meet once every year. but later种子期 died. guess what 伯牙did? he stopped playing 鼓琴. first thought that come to my mind was that 伯牙is sort of dumb. i don't see the need of him going to such extend. well... in a much nicer way, you can say he is just far too sentimental.

i want the song 'bet on it'. i thought i have it last time. anyway, i want to watch HSM 3 just for fun :) and i want to watch it before my brother does, before he starts showing off.

i got whole bottle of sunkist orange juice in my fridge. yippee. isn't that great?

2008-10-22T14:52:00.003+08:00

hulalalala. so sad because i wanted to eat tako balls but the stall person just started making and i didn't have time to wait. went market with my mum although it wasn't a least bit fun. the aunties push here push there and i simply didn't know where i should stand to be out of the way.

i just filed all my worksheets and the maths file is exploding. i want to eat again. it is a high possibility that my stomachache nowadays is due to random-eating.
http://www.jcodonuts.com/ u should go this website to get yourself amused. almost everything is animated and i can't stand it tempting me to buy frappe like now?! and of course, eat donuts.

i go read my book :)

2008-10-21T19:11:00.002+08:00

awww... amk library don't have the thriller books by nora roberts. okay, she is writing as JD robbs. i went to research on her 'in death' series. there are 29 books in total if wikipedia had given the lastest update. anyway, point is i want to read all of them. woots. and now i want the first book of this entire series badly.

having stomachache the entire morning is a super unfortunate and horrible thing. no medicine so ended up drinking ginger tea and shermaine refuses to tell me how much the 2 cups ginger tea cost. in case you wonder why 2 cups, is because the first one got milk, office lady say i souldn't drink any milk related stuff so bought a second one without milk. i shall not describe how horrible the ginger tea was and shermaine forced me to drink half of it. my throat got that ginger smell after that. but surprisingly, stomachache stopped attacking me after the drink.

reflecting on the very own life-stories shared by the missi0n people, i guess many others have their own problems and bad things that happened in the past. maybe only 3 out of 10? but it's just a matter whether we want to let go the past and start fresh. although this doesn't help in solving whatever problem but stucking in the past doesn't help in anyway either, right? just treat it as a nightmare and time to time when you back, you may feel the pain but it is easier to delude yourself into thinking it was just a horrible nightmare. it happened but not in the present reality. only a vision of the past. only stepping out of horror is the wisdom for the future.

hoho. insanity from reading too much books. above are just a whole crap of my reflection. hoho. mint cookies nice nice. tomorrow marking day. woo~~ joven say her blog dead, mine isn't looking any better either. hoho. books books. storybooks.

2008-10-17T21:22:00.002+08:00

stone. stone. stone somemore. stupid computer not working well. stone here, hang there. rah.

irritating whatever so called EC assignment. i seriously don't need it and don't see how i can benefit from it. i rather do compre. bleah. all the info i found doesn't seem to make sense to me. horrible. terrible. vegetable.

drew all over the mahjong paper wrapped around table. it is a good way to entertain yourself during lessons worh.

lalala.....

2008-10-16T21:14:00.002+08:00

hoho. i ate pocky- THE MILK ONE :D moo~~~

tried reading newspaper in the afternoon and guess what happened? i fell asleep. slept until 7 somemore.

hahah. watching 9pm show on channel 8 now. someone kipnap the police's child then call the police person for ransom. then the police was like "要死啊，警察的孩子也敢绑架". HAHAH. then tay bing hui always go to this CD shop to buy cd and supermarket to buy stuff. the cashier always ask the same thing:"member?"

EOYS is sort of a history now isn't it? fact is i didnt do well. according to my dad's standard passing grade, is like $%^&#. i actually didn't draw water for my asymmetrical channel. did horrible careless mistakes for the math paper. blah blah blah. i shall not rattle on.

somehow the cold storage commercial song is sung at a lower pace. being random here.
tmr got lessons whole day, hope i won't fall asleep :)

2008-10-12T20:11:00.006+08:00

just finished reading the sister's keeper. it is a damn sad book- maybe damn is not a right word. cai told me the ending before but i forgot. anna died in a car accident while kate, her sister, is alive after battling with leukemia for so many years. there was absolutely no point for the lawsuit. anna is meant to donate her kidney in the end :(

ah. i shall blog about yesterday.
spent one dollar on a cheater machine. okay. from the start i knew it was 0.00001 percent chance i can get the seal from the XXX machine. rah. the machine is totally horrible. i caught it you know but when it went up, there was a vibration or something, the catching thing just opened and dropped that seal. the seal landed in a different position from where i picked it. poor seal. and obviously i wasted my one dollar as expected.

i didn't realise how interesting birthdays cards have become. got scare ppl one also. with a fake cockroah in it! then got big big cards also but apparently they cost a bomb.

bishan library got alot books :) got whole shelf of nora roberts's books worh. WRL dont even have one i think but still cant find jodi picoult's books. and and and there's this bookstore at united square where you can buy and sell back within a month. somewhat like renting. some books are cheaper i suppose.

lalala. not in a very good mood since afternoon. i actually didn't feel like going for tuition. and my brother is always getting on my nerves. he kicked up a big fuss when a housefly visited his lunch today -.-

it has to come
just depends on who takes the place.

2008-10-09T20:58:00.002+08:00

well i think 'i survived the japanese games show' is totally crazy, wild and i dunno what.

first was this game of picking up big pink pandas. okay, maybe it was just a pink bear... one person has to be the picking machine wearing two claws thing and the others control the controls and move the person around in air to pick the pink pandas. the audience laughed like mad when the person acts funny up there. well... it's not that she wants to be funny but she just happens to be funny.

next is this big fan thing. it is known as the strongest fan in japan i think. so the person has to deliver stuffs and pop them into holes. but first they have to walk against the opposing wind to get to these holes. i think i would have flown off if i was doing that.

and just finished watching style star because i got nothing to do.

the fairytale world is never a reality

2008-10-08T11:40:00.003+08:00

wahahaha.

i just did a good deed. (internal rhyme?) i helped my brother colour his art work although my colouring skills are quite bad and it didnt turn out very well ._ _. i draw a heart in the middle of nowhere because apparently he coloured something and rubbed away but cannot erase fully you see...

so i was really really sleepy and slept from 10pm-9.30 am. the longest sleeping time ever since exams started. my mum actually called me to wake up at 5.45am because she thought i got school ._ _.

psle is going to be over soon or over for people who don't need take higher chinese. happy children in the world is on the rise :)

i want to go Borders to read nice books. apparently i am bored again. i must go find shows to watch.

byebye. happy kids. happy life.

2008-10-07T19:05:00.004+08:00

YAY!!!!

i am not going to repeat myself. so listen carefully: EXAM are OFFICALLY OVER. woo~~~ okay. this is retarded -.-

went out with a group of great people:) laugh laugh stone stone walk here and there up and down the escalator, went chinatown to buy postcards, plaza sing to eat... Because wo1 men2 you3 da4 ba3 shi2 jian1

currently not watching tv because the channel 8 show does not seem nice and on the other hand i shall be considerate to my brother :)

i am very tired but i dun feel like going to sleep. i shall go find new blogskin. see if i can find a nicer one.

gah... my post is totally disjointed. no link between paragraphs. i shall stop crapping. byebye.

#i can change font colours again :) #

2008-10-07T19:05:00.001+08:00

2008-09-07T22:26:00.003+08:00

oh well. school is going to start tomorrow. and i am going to make sure it is a better day :)

sentosa is going to build some indoor sky diving thing? i don't get how you ski dive indoors._ _. i suppose it is just plainly air-dive.

i am watching shao nian yang jia jiang show on channelu later. don't care whether is ending late or not since i have been lacking of sleeping ever since the holidays. partly because i chose to enjoy life before holidays which was definitely a wrong wrong choice. but oh well... and i just checked the meaning of "HOLIDAY": a time where you do not need to go work or school. now i know why the defination isn't: a time where you enjoy yourself and do nothing. because it is just days you don't need to go school and no homework policy is not included._ _. i think i am being so wu liao here._ _.

i shall go pack my bag now. byebye world.

2008-09-02T19:41:00.001+08:00

tv tv tv. woo~~~

ai ya. nothing to blog about :) because i am stuck in my room.

2008-09-01T19:14:00.002+08:00

eyes sore or rather lack of blood already. stuck in my room dunno for how many hours liao. channel 8, 7pm show is funny. haha. everyone should watch :)

i shall not go count how may chapters i need to study because i wouldn't want to see scary numbers. i think i need like more more time. if time just stop for a week...

worst thing is sometimes i just stone in the middle of a question._ _.

i shall go watch my show. byebye.

2008-08-29T22:26:00.002+08:00

BROCOlli rocks. woots.

honey dew ice tea rocks. woots.

tmr will rock if i get more nice nice food to eat.

okay... so tomorrow morning i am going for this expanding your horizon thing where you have to wear jeans and that black shirt. can someone tell me what's the purpose? after that, AGI in the afternoon at dunman high. do you know how freaking far that place is? it is miles and miles away. and the main purpose is to waste time and enjoy the scenes of people fainting._ _. which is totally not encouraged because it is sadistic. i should like get something to read to spend my time wisely.

maybe i am immune to everything. just knowing that i have to keep going because nothing will stop for you. you have to stop it. that's what you are for.

im crapping as usual. cai kept saying 'dung' when we were at popular today. she pick up books and ask: "what 'dung' is this". 'dung' was said in dialet somemore. and i nearly choked on bubble tea because of that. we also realised many books were hidden in between books._ _.

the bus stop is all the way.
and so i will go all the way.

doesn't make any sense. bye bye world:)
one world one dream :D

2008-08-24T17:55:00.002+08:00

back from tuition.

USA vs brazil in men's volleyball. yesterday was USA vs brazil in women's vollyball._ _. and brazil won. i think USA will win today.

and people actually doubt PHELPS winning the 100m butterfly. tsk tsk. but 0.01 seconds is really so close. the yahoo news was describing the touchpad which needs 3kg weight to be activated. so cannot just touch must sort of "push".

i am going to buy colour pens to write notes :)

boo. my dad just tell me not to blog because it is mei you yong.
du1 shu1 bi3 jiao4 zhong4 yao4. i also know.
so, byebye.

2008-08-23T22:09:00.003+08:00

hoho. totally wasted 1 day of my life away. except the fact that i went tuition and did a chinese practice paper.

watching tv all day is not good but i just don't have the xin qing to do homework.

awww... i want the soft-toy ice cream but looks like it can't be bought since it is free gift :0 sad sad. olympics ending tomorrow. looks like there's a ending for everything whether good or bad. tomorrow will be a better day :)

tuition today, my teacher was like cleaning up dead ants on the low height cupboards that apparently dropped out from the air conditioner after my teacher sprayed the ' kill ants thing'. so digusting.

it has been drizzling all day. what a nice weather to sleep don't you agree? sleeping is the best thing i suppose because you don't need to think :)

But i really need to think how to spend my time wisely XD

2008-08-22T20:41:00.000+08:00

woots. week-end.

china vs china now in table tennis ._ _ _. and this is wang nan's last olympic i suppose, so she would most probably get gold. get what im saying?

sort of 'crack' my ankle today during basketball. but i don't really remember how i fell. and because i got habit of twisting my ankle while standing, it further aggrevated the injury. now got swelling ._ _ _.

social studies test was like... my comparison question looked like no hope already because i don't even know what i was writing. and my handwriting was totally horrible. must really go learn how to write fast and nice :o

i can have a nice nice sleep tonight since next week is not infested with any test you see. it also means revision has to start although i don't think i will this weekend. i shall go read books and enjoy my life while i can :)

strawberry vanilla icecream is nice. and i want joy's that soft-toy icecream. i will go buy myself. yay. night people :)

2008-08-17T22:13:00.000+08:00

okay. so was table tennies results expected? i sort of have too high hopes le._ _ _. i feel like shutting the spectators up while watching u know. seems like nothing comes out real good when i watch.

anyway, i watched micheal phelps swim the medly rely today! so cool. he caught up from third and USA won. woots. he got his 8th gold and some special thing was given to him. he can must well be known as the best swimmer in the world :)

track isn't that nice to watch after all because everything goes so slowly. i was watching the marathon dunno for how long and not interesting somemore. and how ridiculous is this? jamaica got 1st, 2nd n 3rd for 100m women finals. Their running really very good worh.

i ate salmon pepper lunch for dinner. bought 2 j.co doughnut: oreo one. since my brother too full to eat, i ate two :) so nice. but i didn't find the takoyaki stall. shall find someday to go cityhall again:) basement got alot food i never try before partly because i can't stop myself from eating the same things luh.

goodnight people. may food come to your dreams :)

2008-08-16T20:57:00.000+08:00

oh cool. although i always miss the cool cool COOL matches, i not going to miss tmr. Phelps won the seventh gold medal alr!!! he is in the 4x100m rely tmr if im not wrong (: n tmr 7.30pm is table tennis fiNals. i want Singapore to win!!! hoho.

olympics made me watch too much tv. although the heats not interesting i will still sit there and watch. not good obviously.

went fairprice extra to do some shopping with aikky, kristal n theresa. not much chuang4 xin1 after all cos there is budget to meet. ate subway and clam chowder soup for dinner !!! woots. n tmr i got excuse to eat j.co doughnuts :) though bfa should be the thing i need to be thinking about for tmr.

going miss tuition again. n 'pay back' is on wed. n i realised the reflection for maths coursework is no marks de. cheat my feelings. haven done yet though but need to do? ._ _ _.

nice foods come with price :o

2008-08-15T20:37:00.000+08:00

shawn johnson is so cool. she won gold for gym (: now i think gym is so cool. if there's a next life, i prob want to be a gymnast. n must be a very very good one. yeah... i know i am dreaming.

i continue posting later. when i have more crap (:

2008-08-10T21:00:00.001+08:00

forever and forever and forever

today's trip was not interesting since most of the places i have been before. eating was great though...i tried lots of seafood. tasted chilli crab, wheat prawn, sharkfin soup, baby lobster and fish. somewhat had only abit of everything since it's a group tour and food must be shared.

then, big thing happened. my bro swallowed chewing gum not knowing it is chewing gum ._ _ _. gosh. i cant stand him. cos his friend gave him and he just ate blindly. well... n i kept saying it will stick in his stomach. if i didnt find out, he would have eaten more than just one. see. i partly saved his life. oh anyway, im not feeling exceptionally great about that.

i finished the book. yay. but wanna read again :) breaking dawn is ridiculous and nice :) woots. i wish i can show the emoticon here cos it really shows the 'face'. very nice nice ending. well... at least it applies for me with jacob out of the picture :) sorry for jacob fans----no harm here. peace okay :D

yeah. i need to go study. although i wan more more more books. i wouldn't mind reading twilight series again cos it is exciting. lala. night ppl. oylmpics GO!